Follicular Dyeology

In early May, I finally got around to using the “Lusty Lavender” hair color kit I bought more than a decade ago. I had delayed this process for a number of reasons, including awkward living situations (I wasn’t about to attempt a dye job in a communal dorm bathroom), general tiredness, and simply forgetting about it. 

Admittedly, I was also trying to avoid misrepresenting myself; I didn’t want to look like a Manic Pixie Dream Girl, only to disappoint everyone by being more of a Depressed Vulcan Nightmare Woman. At this stage, though, I’m secure enough in my identity to take the plunge.

I was going for a particular shade—think “Smoke on the Water” band—but ended up with a multicolored sunset-looking blend that’s honestly not the worst thing ever. The only part of my head that resembles the color on the box is…well, my part.

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Heritage Month Double Feature

Every single sliver of the Gregorian calendar, it seems, has some sort of theme. I’ll open a social media app, and 17 accounts I don’t even follow will clog my homepage with posts about, like, National Pizza Day, or International Sock Day, or Milky Way Galaxy Pizza Sock Day.

While I mostly ignore novelty holidays, I appreciate the month-long observances that honor the contributions of the many cultures comprising the modern United States. Even if acknowledgments in the media are largely performative, I usually end up learning something new.

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How Well Do Festival Films Hold Up?

I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with South by Southwest, the multimedia festival that just ended its 2025 run. On the one hand, it showcases various musicians, filmmakers, educators, and innovators who may not get exposure elsewhere. On the other hand, it’s now so damned expensive that only people with thousands of dollars to spare can experience the full scope of the event. (“Free” badges are available to volunteers who work a certain number of hours, but that’s a whole other can of worms.) 

10 years ago, when you could still snag a film festival wristband for $90, I was lucky enough to binge several movies with my mom and my longtime friend Victoria. Rather than spend an entire post kvetching about SXSW’s badge system, I thought I’d take a look back at what I saw in 2015, how much of it stuck with me, and how much of it is still relevant in the popular consciousness.

At the time, I didn’t think to take notes, so I’m going off my memory—which fluctuates between extremely spotty and borderline eidetic, depending on what I’m trying to recall. (I remember things like random-ass trivia and all my kindergarten classmates’ first names in alphabetical order, but I sometimes have to dig cooking instructions out of the trash because I’ve already forgotten whether to preheat the oven to 400 or 425° F.) Anyway, these are the movies I saw at SXSW 2015, and my impressions of them after a tumultuous decade.


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Less Obvious Public Domain Stuff to Adapt in 2025

It’s a newish year, which means we’ve got a newish batch of old material available for use without exorbitant fees.

Copyright laws can get pretty convoluted, but as a general rule, expiration depends on the death of the author (no, not that one). In many countries, a work enters the public domain either 50 or 70 full calendar years after its maker’s passing; as of 2025, this means copyright has lapsed for the intellectual properties of several creators who died in 1954 or 1974. While the U.S. Copyright Term Extension Act stretched out renewals for works that were still under copyright as of 1998, even some of those IPs are now up for grabs.

The batshit post-pandemic media landscape has produced a surge of cheap, rushed, and poorly-reviewed horror movies based on freshly public domain characters. 2023’s Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey takes advantage of the earliest incarnations of A.A. Milne’s Pooh and Piglet, though writer/director Rhys Frake-Waterfield had to wait until the sequel to use Tigger. Meanwhile, the Steamboat Willie version of Mickey Mouse has already spawned at least two slashers: The Mouse Trap and Screamboat.

David Howard Thornton as the killer in “Screamboat.” It’s a cleverer title than “The Mouse Trap,” but this evil Mickey looks too much like an extra in the stage version of “Cats.”

These movies thrive on the shock value of turning beloved family-friendly characters into bloodthirsty monsters. But as long as people keep watching and talking about them, even solely to complain, opportunists will continue to make them. 

While I don’t particularly care for the trend, it doesn’t bother me on a personal level; I have similar feelings toward things like Disney’s “live-action” remakes, or the Kardashians/Jenners. That said, I can’t help wondering if people seeking to cash in on the public domain are overlooking some high-potential material.

Just for fun, I’ve decided to brainstorm possible adaptations for a handful of media whose copyrights recently expired. On the off-chance that any reader actually turns at least one of these elevator pitches into a real movie, I ask that you hire a union cast and crew, put my name in the credits (preferably spelled correctly), and give me 1% of streaming revenue if applicable.

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Sawcial Commentary

(Spoiler alert for pretty much the whole Saw franchise.)

When I started this blog, I didn’t expect to hop on current events beyond passing mentions. I also didn’t anticipate my blog would become quite so horror-dominated. In fact, I thought it might be too soon for another horror post, and perhaps I should write something about Christmas or Hanukkah/Chanukah (like why the latter seemingly has 50 acceptable English spellings).

Plans change.

The killing of UnitedHealthcare’s CEO, and the widespread, persistent public adulation of the alleged shooter (even by some people who normally don’t condone violence of any kind), got me thinking.

Wasn’t this the plot of an entire Saw movie?

I’m not here to argue politics or the (de)merits of vigilantism; there are plenty of other online venues for that sort of thing. However, I’m totally down to analyze Jigsaw’s warped ideas of justice and their long-term effects within the Sawniverse.

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Top 10 Best Uses of Diegetic Music in Modern Horror

The horror genre is a fertile ground for diegetic scores—tunes actually playing in-universe—which frequently serve to build dramatic tension, but can evoke a wide variety of emotions. These songs include bona fide classics, novelties, annoyingly catchy guilty pleasures, and straight-up auditory hell. All of the following examples manage to enhance the works featuring them.

I’ve done my best to include clips of scenes when possible, but studios can be extremely stingy with copyrighted music, and a few examples only seem to exist online in crappy edits. If an entry is missing a video of a moment you really want to see, I highly encourage you to check out the movie or show for yourself.

By no means have I seen all horror media from this millennium. If you can think of any glaring omissions, feel free to leave them in the comments!

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The Curly Shuffle: A Stooge’s Unexpected Influence on Modern Dance

Harry, Hermione, and Ron. Kirk, Spock, and McCoy. Alvin, Simon, and Theodore. Few trios are as iconic as Moe, Larry, and Curly—and even fewer have a third member so beloved it’s easy to forget they weren’t part of the original line-up. 

Jerome Lester Horwitz, better known as Curly Howard, joined the Three Stooges in 1932 as a favor to his brother Moses (Moe), replacing his other brother Samuel (Shemp). Little did any of them know just how rapidly Curly would eclipse Shemp in the popular consciousness. His impressive athleticism, combined with his goofy vocalizations, elevated much of the act’s oeuvre from mere silliness to comedic gold. And, as some modern viewers have noticed, at least one of Curly’s signature moves may have contributed to the evolution of dance as a whole.

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Good Live-Action Cat Movies Do Exist

In his 2017 video review of Nine Lives (which is no longer on his YouTube channel but still exists on Dailymotion), Ralph Sepe Jr., otherwise known as ralphthemoviemaker, poses a challenge to his audience. “Name a good cat movie. You can’t do it, right?” He goes on to claim cats are too boring to carry movies the way dogs do.

Despite Sepe’s wide range of cinematic knowledge, his remarks reveal a feline-shaped gap in his film education. Live cats—not CGI abominations—have played central roles in a number of acclaimed movies, some of which may even qualify as classics.

Perhaps the best example is Harry and Tonto, a dramedy about a displaced old man who goes on a cross-country journey with his beloved cat. Starring Art Carney as Harry and a couple of orange tabbies as Tonto, the film is every bit as funny and poignant as the best dog flicks. At the Tokyo premiere, the audience reportedly cried so hard during the title characters’ final scene together that they drowned out the remainder of the film’s dialogue. Director Paul Mazursky attributed this to Japan’s great love of cats.

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