Reader’s Block: When a Book Becomes an Endurance Test

This post almost broke my blog.

I’ll confess, I’ve long since run out of prewritten content, so now this site just idles between updates. Looking back, I could have bought myself some time by publishing my earlier stuff at a slower rate, but I thought my blog would gain more traction if I appeared to be a frequent poster. 

Algorithms are fickle things, though—so fickle, in fact, that I actually got more traffic after months of inactivity than I did during some periods when I was trying to steer people here. My dive into Curly Howard’s proto-moonwalk appears to be the most favored by search engines (probably because it doesn’t contain swearing, trash talk about AI, or summaries of movie scenes involving graphic human dismemberment).

But I digress. It’s time to discuss the biography of Louis Wain that took 7 years for the author to research, and what felt like 7 years for me to read.

I love cats and I love art. I should have loved Catland.

Why, then, did I struggle so monumentally just to finish it?

For one, the book frequently veers away from Wain’s life and works in favor of decidedly niche topics, such as the history of textiles in 19th century Britain and France. While author Kathryn Hughes manages to weave in a far more engaging narrative about the origins of cat shows and breeding, it ultimately feels like Catland tries to be too many things at once—and I say that as someone who usually enjoys works that defy categorization.

When the historical asides aren’t mind-numbing, they occasionally become weirdly grotesque. I feel obligated to warn my fellow feline fanciers that Catland contains numerous descriptions of real-life violence against cats, to the point where some cat haters might find their reading experience more satisfactory than many cat lovers would. There’s nothing inherently wrong with tackling this subject matter, but such commentary occupies way too much of a book whose back cover blurb proclaims it, “A perfect gift for cat lovers, art lovers, and readers of all persuasions.” 

Portions of Catland also border on thesaurus vomit. After 50ish pages, I started to write down unfamiliar vocabulary whose meanings I couldn’t easily glean from surrounding passages. By the time I skimmed my way through the acknowledgements, I had compiled a list of 70 terms. 

Admittedly, some may have just been Britishisms, but others were Greek to me—and by Greek, I mostly mean French. What sorts of subtleties necessitated the use of “recherché” instead of “rare,” or “manqué” instead of “wannabe”? Je ne sais quoi. 

Kathryn Hughes won’t tell you what “mésalliance” means, but she will provide translations of “cat talk” from the hilariously-titled “Pussy and Her Language.

Look, I know I inundate my own readers with some nerdy-ass words, not to mention all the puns, portmanteaus, and parentheticals. But I usually define more obscure terms both outright and through context clues, and I at least try to make my tangents funny.

Catland certainly has its merits, including fascinating glimpses of the late Victorian and Edwardian culture that influenced Louis Wain, as well as beautiful color prints of his paintings. In the end, though, I mostly stuck with it to prove to myself that I still had the focus to get through an entire book. It’s something I don’t want to take for granted in a climate that encourages excessive scrolling through short-form content.

At least, that was my excuse for forcing myself to keep reading Catland, until I breezed through two novels (The Family Izquierdo and The Long Walk) while I was still stuck somewhere between vaguely cat-themed anecdotes about stuffy aristocrats and depressing accounts of how people used to dispose of unwanted kittens. Then I guess my goal became getting through a nonfiction book. Or maybe I’m just a completionist, and I let the sunk cost mess with my head.

Catland is hardly the first book I’ve had trouble finishing. When I had to read Light in August for one of my college classes, my mom let me borrow her copy. I immediately noticed a built-in ribbon bookmark stuck about one-third through; it had been there long enough to bleed into the page. My mother, who’d perused entire epics such as War and Peace, had evidently given up on this much shorter William Faulkner novel. After slogging through Light in August for myself, I came to understand why.

Faulkner is a master at creating vivid and intriguing prose, then weaving it deftly into meandering paragraphs of Southern fried verbosity peppered with casual racism.(I can appreciate that the author was a product of his time, but was it necessary for the otherwise-mostly-objective omniscient narrator to refer to the collective descendants of enslaved people as “lazy”?) His writing is as dense as Ernest Hemingway’s is accessible, and readers have to push past a lot of rambling to get to the meat of the story. 

Nevertheless, there is a story—a pretty gnarly one, even. I did feel a sense of accomplishment staying along for the ride, both when I made it past the point where my mom tapped out, then again when I finally reached the surprisingly optimistic ending.

Sometimes the delayed gratification of literature is very delayed. The summer before my freshman year of high school, my dad signed me up for a speed reading class in the hopes of improving my academic time management. It…didn’t really help on that front, but it did give me tools to hone my cramming skills. Among other things, my classmates and I learned a technique called long smooth underlining (LSU for short). 

Our practice text was The Fellowship of the Ring, but we only got as far as Frodo’s confrontation with the Ringwraiths at the Ford of Bruinen. Having greatly enjoyed Peter Jackson’s film adaptation, I decided to finish it on my own, but that turned out to be more of a challenge than anticipated.

In the movie, the Council of Elrond is simultaneously a gathering of momentous weight and a veritable fountain of memes. Even if you know nothing about The Lord of the Rings, you’ve probably seen an image macro of Sean Bean as Boromir with text riffing on the phrase “One does not simply walk into Mordor.”

The scene manages to introduce him and the other remaining Fellowship members in quick succession, giving us glimpses of their personalities with just a few very memorable lines. It’s both suitably epic and full of enough levity to ease the audience into the darkness that follows.

In the book, the Council of Elrond is when the entire plot comes to a screeching halt as Gandalf gives an incredibly long-winded exposition dump. I couldn’t believe how many words it took just for him to say, “Saruman’s turned bad.” (And really, why was that a surprise? The guy became a Sith Lord!) 

It’s nice to see older folks get their Sith together.

I found the chapter so tedious that I ended up putting down the book for an entire year. I’m glad I returned to it, though; once I got past those pages, the pace picked back up. The end of the book was genuinely thrilling, even though I knew what was going to happen.

I haven’t reread the LOTR trilogy in quite some time, so I’m not sure if the Council of Elrond chapter is as dull as I remember. It can’t possibly be slower than Catland, though. Or can it?

Truthfully, I don’t know what I’ll do next time I feel trapped in a self-imposed reading assignment. On the one hand, life is short, and I’d prefer to engage with books that don’t feel like chores. On the other hand, if I don’t challenge my brain to endure moments of boredom in exchange for a decent payoff, I worry what that will do to my already-dwindling attention span. If Catland has taught me anything, though, it’s that not every book has a payoff.

There is so much of the English-language literary canon that I’ve never gotten around to reading, or didn’t fully appreciate when I was younger. I’m long overdue to crack open a George Orwell novel; somehow, I went through both high school and college without encountering Animal Farm or 1984. And I could probably benefit from a more careful and mature rereading of The Great Gatsby

I’ve even debated whether to tackle the doorstopper Infinite Jest for the sole purpose of understanding the various references to it in the Decemberists’ “Calamity Song” music video. If that turns out to be more effort than it’s worth—well, nobody’s making me stick with it. 

But if you’ve chosen to stick with this post, and my blog in general, I appreciate the support. My reading and writing journeys are heavily intertwined, and I’m eager to see where they lead.

Follicular Dyeology

In early May, I finally got around to using the “Lusty Lavender” hair color kit I bought more than a decade ago. I had delayed this process for a number of reasons, including awkward living situations (I wasn’t about to attempt a dye job in a communal dorm bathroom), general tiredness, and simply forgetting about it. 

Admittedly, I was also trying to avoid misrepresenting myself; I didn’t want to look like a Manic Pixie Dream Girl, only to disappoint everyone by being more of a Depressed Vulcan Nightmare Woman. At this stage, though, I’m secure enough in my identity to take the plunge.

I was going for a particular shade—think “Smoke on the Water” band—but ended up with a multicolored sunset-looking blend that’s honestly not the worst thing ever. The only part of my head that resembles the color on the box is…well, my part.

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Heritage Month Double Feature

Every single sliver of the Gregorian calendar, it seems, has some sort of theme. I’ll open a social media app, and 17 accounts I don’t even follow will clog my homepage with posts about, like, National Pizza Day, or International Sock Day, or Milky Way Galaxy Pizza Sock Day.

While I mostly ignore novelty holidays, I appreciate the month-long observances that honor the contributions of the many cultures comprising the modern United States. Even if acknowledgments in the media are largely performative, I usually end up learning something new.

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In Defense of Em Dashes (and Offense of Artificial Intelligence)

If you’ve read any of my blog posts, you know I utilize em dashes even more frequently than I reference TVTropes—and why wouldn’t I? You’re telling me there’s a mid-sentence punctuation mark that works for separating both dependent and independent clauses? A mark that can also function as a louder parenthesis if placed on either side of a word or phrase? And—unlike the semicolon—it doesn’t have a reputation for being bizarrely intimidating? The em dash is an English major’s dream come true.

Sadly, this short horizontal line has started to develop its own stigma: the widespread notion that its presence automatically denotes AI-generated content. 

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How Well Do Festival Films Hold Up?

I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with South by Southwest, the multimedia festival that just ended its 2025 run. On the one hand, it showcases various musicians, filmmakers, educators, and innovators who may not get exposure elsewhere. On the other hand, it’s now so damned expensive that only people with thousands of dollars to spare can experience the full scope of the event. (“Free” badges are available to volunteers who work a certain number of hours, but that’s a whole other can of worms.) 

10 years ago, when you could still snag a film festival wristband for $90, I was lucky enough to binge several movies with my mom and my longtime friend Victoria. Rather than spend an entire post kvetching about SXSW’s badge system, I thought I’d take a look back at what I saw in 2015, how much of it stuck with me, and how much of it is still relevant in the popular consciousness.

At the time, I didn’t think to take notes, so I’m going off my memory—which fluctuates between extremely spotty and borderline eidetic, depending on what I’m trying to recall. (I remember things like random-ass trivia and all my kindergarten classmates’ first names in alphabetical order, but I sometimes have to dig cooking instructions out of the trash because I’ve already forgotten whether to preheat the oven to 400 or 425° F.) Anyway, these are the movies I saw at SXSW 2015, and my impressions of them after a tumultuous decade.


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Less Obvious Public Domain Stuff to Adapt in 2025

It’s a newish year, which means we’ve got a newish batch of old material available for use without exorbitant fees.

Copyright laws can get pretty convoluted, but as a general rule, expiration depends on the death of the author (no, not that one). In many countries, a work enters the public domain either 50 or 70 full calendar years after its maker’s passing; as of 2025, this means copyright has lapsed for the intellectual properties of several creators who died in 1954 or 1974. While the U.S. Copyright Term Extension Act stretched out renewals for works that were still under copyright as of 1998, even some of those IPs are now up for grabs.

The batshit post-pandemic media landscape has produced a surge of cheap, rushed, and poorly-reviewed horror movies based on freshly public domain characters. 2023’s Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey takes advantage of the earliest incarnations of A.A. Milne’s Pooh and Piglet, though writer/director Rhys Frake-Waterfield had to wait until the sequel to use Tigger. Meanwhile, the Steamboat Willie version of Mickey Mouse has already spawned at least two slashers: The Mouse Trap and Screamboat.

David Howard Thornton as the killer in “Screamboat.” It’s a cleverer title than “The Mouse Trap,” but this evil Mickey looks too much like an extra in the stage version of “Cats.”

These movies thrive on the shock value of turning beloved family-friendly characters into bloodthirsty monsters. But as long as people keep watching and talking about them, even solely to complain, opportunists will continue to make them. 

While I don’t particularly care for the trend, it doesn’t bother me on a personal level; I have similar feelings toward things like Disney’s “live-action” remakes, or the Kardashians/Jenners. That said, I can’t help wondering if people seeking to cash in on the public domain are overlooking some high-potential material.

Just for fun, I’ve decided to brainstorm possible adaptations for a handful of media whose copyrights recently expired. On the off-chance that any reader actually turns at least one of these elevator pitches into a real movie, I ask that you hire a union cast and crew, put my name in the credits (preferably spelled correctly), and give me 1% of streaming revenue if applicable.

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Sawcial Commentary

(Spoiler alert for pretty much the whole Saw franchise.)

When I started this blog, I didn’t expect to hop on current events beyond passing mentions. I also didn’t anticipate my blog would become quite so horror-dominated. In fact, I thought it might be too soon for another horror post, and perhaps I should write something about Christmas or Hanukkah/Chanukah (like why the latter seemingly has 50 acceptable English spellings).

Plans change.

The killing of UnitedHealthcare’s CEO, and the widespread, persistent public adulation of the alleged shooter (even by some people who normally don’t condone violence of any kind), got me thinking.

Wasn’t this the plot of an entire Saw movie?

I’m not here to argue politics or the (de)merits of vigilantism; there are plenty of other online venues for that sort of thing. However, I’m totally down to analyze Jigsaw’s warped ideas of justice and their long-term effects within the Sawniverse.

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The TV Episode That Got a Misunderstood Holiday Right

Enjoying older media often entails accepting outdated terminology, politically incorrect humor, and plain wrong notions about our fellow humans. But every once in a while, a surprisingly inoffensive hidden gem will surface from the vault of our complex history.

The Alfred Hitchcock Hour was a continuation of the anthology series Alfred Hitchcock Presents that doubled the episode length (for better or worse). Like its more famous yet shorter-lived contemporary, The Twilight Zone, the show ranged from the speculative and supernatural to the more grounded. And, as with The Twilight Zone, it has since spent decades in syndication on cable channels, usually at late hours.

One Hitchcock episode examines the consequences of overcrowding in certain Mexican cemeteries—namely, if families of the deceased couldn’t keep up with burial plot rental payments, their loved ones would be exhumed to make room for other bodies. This was an actual thing that happened, and author Ray Bradbury’s horror at the situation inspired at least two stories: 1947’s “The Next in Line,” about an American couple stranded near the catacombs of Guanajuato, and 1963’s “The Life Work of Juan Diaz,” which Bradbury himself adapted into a teleplay in 1964.

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Top 10 Best Uses of Diegetic Music in Modern Horror

The horror genre is a fertile ground for diegetic scores—tunes actually playing in-universe—which frequently serve to build dramatic tension, but can evoke a wide variety of emotions. These songs include bona fide classics, novelties, annoyingly catchy guilty pleasures, and straight-up auditory hell. All of the following examples manage to enhance the works featuring them.

I’ve done my best to include clips of scenes when possible, but studios can be extremely stingy with copyrighted music, and a few examples only seem to exist online in crappy edits. If an entry is missing a video of a moment you really want to see, I highly encourage you to check out the movie or show for yourself.

By no means have I seen all horror media from this millennium. If you can think of any glaring omissions, feel free to leave them in the comments!

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Let Bicons Be Bicons: A Bi Visibility Day Manifesto

It’s time to set the record straight—I’m not.

Some of you already knew that, but if you don’t know me personally, or haven’t seen much of me since my boy-crazy teen years, it might come as a bit of a surprise. I wasn’t faking my attraction to guys, though; I was just repressing my other crushes.

It almost makes too much sense. Of course someone of my background wouldn’t have a simple sexual orientation. Given my mixed ethnoreligious origin, I’m used to navigating between worlds, celebrating those periodic moments of synchronicity. But it wasn’t until college that I examined myself closely enough to realize the signs of queerness had been there all along. In hindsight, I guess it wasn’t very heterosexual of me to feel so excited while hugging pretty girls in my older brother’s class.

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